MENTAL HEALTH

Mental Health

No matter where you are in your battle: just beginning, in the middle or completely done, mental health is always something to keep in mind. It really is half the battle. In fact, it is now more important than ever. How you react to everything, how you choose to carry yourself through this fight sets the tone for many aspects both during and after treatment.

Something I have learned while fighting cancer is that you should never cover up how you feel. A million emotions are going to hit you, sometimes at the same time. You deserve to feel however you want. I highly recommend having a small group of friends, a support group, a social worker, or a therapist to check in with during the process. You will have your up days, and your down days, and a bunch of wacky days in between. Here's what I think you should look out for:

• Anxiety: Dealing with anxiety and stress is perhaps the biggest obstacle because it doesn't go away after the journey is over. You're scared about everything, what could go wrong, what if it doesn't work, what if you lose. Some key signs of anxiety are problems with letting go of certain thoughts and fears, nervousness-induced nausea, mood swings, and generally irritable or grumpy. It's understandable; a million questions fill your head and a bazillion thoughts constantly circulate through your mind. You try your best not to let it get to you, but sometimes all your brain can do is:

Ah, Stanley. Always knows how I'm feeling. It's okay to have anxiety, but try your best to be open and upfront about it. Say when you're scared, what worries you and why it stresses you out so badly. Everyone else's job, besides physically saving your life, is making sure you're sound and doing okay. Don't be afraid or ashamed to say you're not.

• Despair/Depression: It tends to come in waves. If you're having a particularly hard chemotherapy round or just feel off, it's easy to ask the loaded questions: why you got cancer, how you got cancer, and why is this all happening to you. Try not to dwell on it; easier said than done, but dwelling on it makes it worse. I also know that it gets hard when you see other people living their normal lives and that's all you want to have back, but it seems too much to ask for. It will come back. In the meantime, find ways to distract yourself or cheer yourself up. I liked to read survivor stories because I knew I was going to be able to join them and share my story and experiences someday (and here I am). Friends and family always know how to cheer you up because they know you best, sometimes they know you better than you know yourself! Singing, dancing, playing games, chocolate, RomComs, anything you heart desires you should be striving for. There's no better time to treat yourself.

• Anger: Along with frustration, you will usually get angry before you become depressed. You have every right to be mad. What you're experiencing is pure hell, and some people don't experience that much hell in their entire lives. Find healthy ways to let it out: writing, punching a pillow, taking walks, going out into the middle of nowhere and screaming......they all work. Sometimes, you will be a grumpy little b*tch and, you know what? It's okay. You will balance back out in time.

(In case you're reading this and need a laugh, here's me in a nutshell. So photogenic) 

My biggest takeaway from mental health is that, while it is hard during treatment, it is always something you have to keep in mind. A good amount of the time, you aren't even thinking about it until you realize how upset you are. It's good to have someone check in with you on a schedule so you're keeping tabs on how you feel and you can seek help if needed. Document and take pride during the good times, and just keep holding on during the bad times. This journey is truly a rollercoaster. Sometimes you go day by day, some days you go hour by hour, some hours you go minute by minute. Whatever it takes to keep going, love. To those cancer supporters reading this, please let the following sentence resonate with you:

We need you during treatment. 

A little love can always go a long way.