WELCOME!
And sorry you’re here....because chances are, if you’re reading this, you or someone you love has just been diagnosed with cancer. It is absolutely one of the worst things to ever hear. Believe me, I’ve been there. In fact, as soon as I finished a phone call with the first doctor, a second doctor called me telling me the SAME THING. Like, I am aware, your buddy just called and frankly hearing it a second time isn’t any easier. So, the first thing I am going to tell you is this: If you have just found out you have cancer, you have every right to feel however you want. Every. Right. Not many people understand the feeling on a personal level, so it is hard for them to help you cope with the news. You are allowed to cope however is best for you. Crying, screaming, taking a walk, telling the world immediately or telling just one person, you are entitled to handle the shock any way you want. From there, you learn how to tell the world (because I recommend doing that, you never know where you can find support). That is the beginning in the privilege we are going to call “The Cancer Card”, which basically means you are in control and everyone plays by your rules. Right now, your main goal is to process the information that has just been broken to you. I know what you're thinking:
To put it simply,
CANCER REALLY SUCKS.
Also, I am not going to sugarcoat anything about this whole process because there is literally nothing sweet about it. I don’t mean to be like that, but this is the reality of having cancer and you deserve to know what you are about to experience so you can best prepare for it. This is to help you, not to scare you off.
Speaking of scary, the first thing I am going to tell you is that your friend, good ol’ Google, just became your worst enemy.
Google:
-Isn’t always right
-Has scary images
-Always points out the worst case scenario
-Will basically tell you you have 12 minutes to live
-Also has WebMD which is a no go.
I REPEAT, A NO GO.
Sorry, Google, but you really ain't welcome here.
Seriously, don’t do it. Don’t you dare. I know it is everyone’s first instinct because it was mine as well, but I resisted and it has served me well today. You already have enough anxiety and confusion about what is happening to you, you do NOT need the vast wasteland that is the internet to freak you out even more.
There is a 90% chance that you will remember the day you were diagnosed with cancer like no other. When I got diagnosed over the phone, I was standing in my living room right next to the stairs, had messy hair, was barefoot and rocking a scraggly white wrinkled Mickey Mouse shirt I had snatched from Ross and was wearing black basketball shorts that definitely hugged a little too tight. I know, I know, I'm a total fashion icon. It was about 1:30 in the afternoon and as soon as the news had registered in my brain I stepped outside and proceeded to bawl my eyes out against my truck for about thirty minutes. That scene replays in my head every single day of my life. In other words, it’s going to stick like a magnet, mainly because the adrenaline of such news is causing you to retain every single little detail.
Do you need that kind of hassle rattling your conscience? Helllll no. So, don’t do what I did, and cry and then proceed to take an hour nap. I really didn’t know what else to do. In fact, I recommend you stay up and try to keep yourself occupied with other things to not think about it as much. If you knock out with those thoughts running around your cranium at a million miles an hour, all it’s gonna do is make you overthink the situation you are already freaking out about as well as probably dream about it because that’s what our lovely mind does to us!!! Try to calm yourself down, concentrate on other things and let those diagnosis thoughts settle so they don’t stick as hard. I know, I know, it’s much easier said than done, but I done goofed so if I can save someone else from making the same mistakes, mission accomplished. In fact, that is the purpose of this blog, so no one else makes the errors I did.
Well.....
But really, Yes, it’s a lot. And that photo is exactly how I felt during all of it. It is a stressful (like the rest of this journey isn’t stressful? lol) period of time because so many things have to happen and so many hoops have to be jumped through before a treatment plan can be created and executed. For example, here was my journey pre treatment:
This was over a thirty day period. As you can see, it is a DOOZY. In fact, it took about me about two hours to search for all of my appointments online and on paper just to ensure I had everything. Of course, not everyone is going to have to do the same scans or meet with a surgeon, and there are multiple ways that a biopsy can be done; it all depends on the nature of the cancer. However, I am going to do my best to cover all bases regarding cancer diagnosis and staging.
HERE WE GO.
Blood work
I’m starting with blood work because this is just the beginning. You will have so much blood drawn from you, you WILL believe you will have none left. Fair warning, it does get harder as you go. For preliminary testing, however, they will take a lot of blood from you and test nearly every level under the sun, especially any level that can correlate with your cancer. I recommend asking your oncologist what tests you should pay attention to and what they mean so you can look on your own when you get tested in the future (and if you have access to your results, I believe most hospitals can post them online if you have an account). These most definitely will include White Blood Cells, Red Blood Cells, Platelets, and Neutrophils. Learn what they mean, what’s normal for you and when you should be concerned.
Also, if you happen to be ultra terrified of needles and being poked with one, please let the phlebotomist know. They will do all they can to help make you feel comfortable. It’s for both your safety and theirs too, so don’t be silent if you’re scared. You’re already experiencing hell; be your own advocate and make hell geared towards what’s best for you.
X Ray
Most people have had an X Ray before, but it’s also another way to see your tumor; in fact, this is how my tumor was discovered. Fairly simple and quick, this is the easiest of all the scans.
Pro Tip: When your doctor shows you the scans, ask to take photos of them! They’re nice to have in your record and it is really helpful to have when you put your journey in order so you can make sense of it. Also, your friends and family will think it is really cool, PLUS it’s an opportunity for you to educate them!
(omg, my bones? on the internet? so scandalous.)
These are not too common, but still worth writing about it. Bone scans look for tumors in, well, the bones! Either for the origin of a cancer, like osteosarcoma, or for metastasis of other cancers that had spread to the bones. It involves contrast, so dye will be injected into the bloodstream (warning: It’s cold!) and left for a couple of hours so it can “clump” around foreign objects in the body. It takes about two hours, but the scan is not “closed” so I suggest bringing someone along to talk to while it happens!
CT Scan
A CT Scan is similar to an MRI but special in its own, sort of lame way. It has a “ring” that takes images in 2D splices and forms them into 3D products. It is mainly used to scan for tumors it the pelvic, abdomen and chest region. It is usually done with contrast as well, except this time the dye is super warm and basically makes you feel like you’re peeing yourself when in reality you’re not…..I hope.MRI
Probably the hardest of all the scans, and MRI is a long tube that takes high quality images from all different directions to give a clear picture of what exactly is going on in your body. Most people struggle with this one the most because of the small chamber; people who fear enclosed spaces generally freak out and have to try to sleep or even be sedated to complete the scan. It takes anywhere from thirty minutes to multiple hours, and makes a lot of loud, jarring noises throughout the process. Sometimes dye is also used for this scan. The images are amazing, but it definitely takes a lot to get them.
PET Scan
Similar to the CT scan and MRI, a PET scan can detect other harmful cells and tissues in the body that may not be picked up by the other two scans. It involves being injected with glucose that has a little bit of radioactive material, so I don’t suggest flying around that time. Also, if you grow a third eye, that may be from the radioactivity (and, like, that’s pretty cool. I’d be jealous).
Biopsy
Biopsies are used to take a sample of the mass to correctly and confidently identify what cancer is growing in the affected area. There are basically two types of biopsies: invasive and non invasive.
A non invasive biopsy consists of a needle to the tumor, wherever it may be. The needle collects the small sample and no major surgical procedures need to be done. Anesthesia is given, not enough to knock a person out, but to send them into a “twilight” while the biopsy is done. Non invasive biopsies usually take a couple hours: most of the time is for preparation.
An invasive biopsy is a surgery to take either samples of the tumor or to remove the tumor completely. It is usually done in cases where the tumor is in hard to reach places. Anesthesia is used to completely knock out the patient and operation and recovery time depend on the nature of the surgery.
Biopsy results usually take 1-2 weeks to be studied and processed. When the results are in, you will be contacted by either your surgeon or oncologist to meet and discuss what the next steps are. Once all the needed scans, blood work, and biopsy information come back, a treatment plan can be formulated and soon after executed, because with cancer, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE.
(me, loopy, confused, post-biopsy)
By this point, if you haven’t already, you will be meeting with your oncologist (and surgeon, if applicable) and most likely a social worker as well. The appointment(s) will discuss your situation, treatment plan, as well as the risks and cautious steps you will need to take during treatment to ensure the best results. You usually have at least two appointments with your doctor(s) before starting; whether you meet your oncologist, surgeon, or both, here’s a few tips to take before heading into the room:
OR…
Now, I understand that within a short amount of time, you have received a bombshell of a diagnosis, a LOT of information about your new detour in life, and within a week or two, you will be starting the battle of a lifetime. After my appointment with my oncologist, I had three days of my “normal” life left before I buckled down for one hell of a ride. I was torn; half of me wanted to just lay in bed and sleep, and the other half wanted the complete opposite. Whatever time you have left before you start chemotherapy, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF. Go do something fun with friends and family! You deserve to have some fun before you enter through the doors of hell the hospital.
THOSE SUPPORTING CANCER PATIENTS: If your loved one doesn’t want to go out and have fun, even after gentle persuasion, bring the fun to them! Sometimes it’s hard for them to get around depending on their cancer, or they’re overwhelmed and going out in general may be a little difficult right now. Bring movies, games, food, and plenty of jokes and gossip to cheer them up. I know you have to go a little out of your way, but it will impact your cancer patient more than you could ever fathom. They will never forget it, I will bet my entire life savings (like, $12.57) on it.
My family decided to have an “open house”-turned-party the day before I started chemotherapy and it was an absolute blast. We played music, danced, had WAY too much delicious food, and I got to talk to so many people who wished me luck and gave me so much love and support. In fact, we came up with a hashtag for everyone to post photos with on social media so I could easily find them and look at them when I was feeling down or having a rough day. I continued to use it on my posts on social media, and even today I can look through all of them and see just how far I have come. Not necessarily a tip, but just a fun suggestion.
Now is also the time to, if it is something you’re thinking about, reach out to support groups and organizations. If there are any groups in your hospital or in the area that apply to you, consider attending one! They are people just like you who understand how you’re feeling both physically and emotionally and can support you any way you need it. If that’s hard or chemo just knocks you down too hard, I also recommend social media. Yeah yeah yeah, social media gets a bad rep, but when you’re not always able to just go outside and talk to people, it is a GREAT way to make new connections and also receive support. Scrolling through hashtags or search key words can easily help you connect with other people in similar situations and receive comfort and support that way. People reach out to me all the time and I am more than happy to support them however they need. It’s where warriors become friends!
I don’t mean to come off negative, but I will be blunt: there’s a really good chance that your life will not be the same after you’re done beating cancer. You will be a new person with new experiences and the old version of you stays behind in your days before your battle, or even before you knew you had cancer. Now is the time to live it up and end this chapter of your life on a good note and feeling like the best version of yourself. However way you want to spend it is in your control, but my wish is that you make it memorable. I am really sorry you have to go through this, but I went through it too and I am so glad I made the most of it before I started chemo. We have to say our goodbyes to our lives as we know it, but at least we have the ability to make it special. We’re like iPhones; it’s time to update to better, healthier versions of ourselves.
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